I am not keen of hypes but I could find some truths in this book.
One of the first things is to question the Brules = Bullshit rules. Those are the rules passed on us by society, family, religion, etc. I tell myself that I need that certification, I need to save, I need to know X, then Y, Z. And I know some are excuses…
I struggle with the concept of working hard and enjoy life. The ideal is to enjoy your job, but I dont see myself enjoying my job working 12h a day. I tell myself I would like to work in a bakery for 1 year, like a sabatical. No balls yet to do that. I am waiting for the moment…
The book recommends to take this Lifebook Assessement:
- Your love relationship
- Your friendship
- Your finances
- Your quality of life (materialistic things)
- Your health and fitness
- Your intellectual life
- Your emotional life
- Your spiritual life
- Your career
- Your character
- Your family and parenting life
- Your life vision
I find it useful, because I can see the positive things of my life and where to improve. And most of the book is around those 12 points.
Related to the b-rules, we have models of reality embedded deep within that we are not really aware of (what you don’t know you believe!) Example: you are enough and you have nothing to prove. This means you need to rewrite your models of reality (ie: you are attractive, you are good enough, etc). Two questions then:
- Is my model of reality absolute or relative truth?
- Does this really mean what I think it means?
Regarding setting a vision:
- We confuse b-rules with goals: having a certain job, appearance, etc is b-rule.
- We are notoriously bad at predicting just what we can do in a given time frame: a) we tend to overestimate what we can do in short term (1/2-1y) and underestimate what we can do in long-term (3y)
Goals are part of a vision: but some goals are part of b-rules so how to identify:
means goals (not good):
- means goals usually have a “so” in the them: Get this job so I will be happy
- means goals are often about meeting or conforming to b-rules: have a degree
end goals (good)
- end goals are about following your heart
- end goals are often feelings
Something I do every night is to gave grace/gratitude. I can’t really explain but it calms you down, it put things in perspective, and you sleep better. I trully believe that I am the luckiest person, whatever happens, period.
The next thing, it is forgiveness. I found it difficult, but makes sense, it is a way to liberate yourself. I need to do that with the gratitude.
Last thing, is “to give”: To be happy, make others happy. Who can you help if you are unhappy?
Be unfuckwithable: Extraordinary minds do not need to seek validation from outside opinion or through the attainment of goals. Instead, they are truly at peace with themselves and the world around them. They live fearlessly, immune to criticism or praise and fueled by their own inner happiness and self-love.
exercises:
- The person in the mirror (self-love)
- Self-gratitude (for appreciating yourself)
- Become present (to remove sudden fear and anxiety)
The authors meditation six pack, daily, no max of 15 minutes.
- Compassion
- Gratitude
- Forgiveness
- Future dreams
- Perfect day
- The Blessing
In general, I can find things that resonate and I need to put in practice. I should re-read again at some point